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Writer's pictureLaura Cardwell

Resiliency and the Power of Connection in Times of Grief

Updated: Oct 17


In the wake of destruction, life has a way of shaking us up. Take Hurricane Helene, for example—she wasn’t exactly a gentle breeze. Instead, she blew through with total disregard, upending lives, homes, and entire communities. The grief that follows something like this feels heavy, raw, and overwhelming. But amidst all that wreckage, something beautiful begins to bloom—connection. The hands that reach out, the neighbors who bring food, and the people who just "show up" become the threads that hold us together. Somehow, in the middle of the storm’s aftermath, we find our resilience in each other. 


Grief has a way of ripping the floor out from under us, but when we lean into the support of our communities, something incredible happens. We heal. We rebuild. And we discover that grief, as devastating as it can be, often brings with it a kind of transformation. It’s through these moments that we truly understand the power of human connection, and we learn that even in the darkest of times, something new and hopeful can emerge.


 The Science of Resilience: How Connection Strengthens Us


Now, let’s talk science—because yes, I am a nerd, as you know… Resilience is actually something that can be strengthened, and human connection is one of the most potent tools we have for doing just that. It turns out that our bodies are wired to connect, and our nervous system has a built-in system that helps us regulate our emotions through our relationships with others.


Enter the "vagus nerve", the body’s internal superhighway for connection. The vagus nerve runs from your brain through your heart and gut, playing a massive role in keeping you calm and collected—even when life feels like it’s been tossed in a blender. When you connect with others, whether through a heartfelt conversation, a much-needed hug, or even a kind word, this incredible nerve gets activated. The result? You feel calmer, more grounded, and—believe it or not—stronger in the face of grief and adversity.  We are quite literally, stronger together.  


When the vagus nerve is stimulated, it releases oxytocin (affectionately known as the "love hormone"). Oxytocin not only makes you feel warm and fuzzy, but it also helps reduce stress, lower cortisol levels, and promote healing. In other words, when you reach out to others during times of grief, you're not just emotionally supported—your body literally "feels" better, too. It's like a biological pick-me-up, wrapped in love and connection.


Grief has a nasty habit of making us want to retreat and shut down. But in those moments, reaching out and allowing others in is what gives us the strength to weather the storm. We don’t bounce back alone; we rise up together (I mean, I had to be a little cheesy, right??)


 The Vagus Nerve: A Pathway to Resilience


The vagus nerve doesn’t just help you feel better in the moment—it plays a key role in building long-term resilience. Think of it as your body’s secret weapon in the battle against overwhelm. When we engage in meaningful connections, the vagus nerve helps shift us out of “fight or flight” mode and into a state of calm. Our heart rate slows down, our breathing deepens, and suddenly, we feel like we might just be okay, even in the middle of all the chaos.


In the wake of Hurricane Helene, this has never been more apparent. Watching communities come together to rebuild—neighbors helping neighbors, strangers offering support—demonstrates the profound impact of connection on both an emotional and physical level. It’s no coincidence that as we lend a hand to others, we also find our own strength renewed. The vagus nerve is quietly at work, helping us find balance and reminding us that even in the darkest moments, we are not alone.


In a time of political upheaval and divisiveness, it is so important that we open our hearts and move beyond these labels and back into connection.  I believe that is one of the underlying messages that Helene has brought to us.  In the weeks to come, we hope to see that connection and resilience grow stronger, even in the face of misunderstandings and misleading news.  Not just for the areas affected by the hurricane, but everywhere and everyone, and yes, you can call us dreamers…


 The Metal Element and the Season of Letting Go


As if Mother Nature hadn’t made it clear enough, we’re also deep in the season of fall, which in Chinese Medicine is ruled by the Metal element. Metal governs the lungs and large intestine—organs linked to grief and, you guessed it, letting go. 


If you've ever watched the trees in fall, you know they don't cling to their leaves in desperation. They let go, allowing the old to fall away so the new can come in the spring. Fall reminds us that there’s beauty in release. Hurricane Helene has a way of teaching that lesson too—albeit in a far less poetic manner. But the message is the same: in times of loss, we are invited to release what no longer serves us, to make space for new growth.


And that’s not just metaphorical. Metal energy is sharp and clear, cutting away the excess, the dead weight we’ve been carrying. Whether it’s old beliefs, patterns, or even the literal debris left behind by a storm, we are invited to let it go. 


But here’s where it gets really interesting: in this season of letting go, we’re also reminded to stay connected to our hearts. Fall may be about grief and release, but it’s also about finding warmth and community. The heart, symbolized by the Fire element, keeps us centered and reminds us that while we may be letting go of the old, we’re also creating space for something new, something beautiful, to emerge.


 Staying Grounded in the Heart Through Connection


In times of grief, connection is like a soft place to land. It holds us up when everything else feels shaky. Whether it’s the literal rebuilding of homes or the more subtle rebuilding of our emotional landscape, human connection is what helps us stay grounded and resilient. 


So here we are—fully immersed in the energy of Metal season, grappling with loss, and being asked to let go. But as we do, let’s remember to stay connected. To lean on each other. To hold space for the grief, while also holding space for hope and possibility.


Yes, Hurricane Helene was a force of destruction. But in her wake, we see the beauty of humanity—the neighbors who open their doors, the communities that come together, and the quiet reminder that even in our grief, we are stronger than we know. When we connect, when we allow ourselves to feel and release, we find that resilience is less about bouncing back and more about moving forward—together.


Grief may be heavy, but connection lifts. So, in this season of letting go, let’s hold tight to each other, knowing that from the rubble, something new and beautiful will surely rise. Because when we face the storm together, we’re not just surviving—we’re creating the foundation for a future filled with hope, love, and endless possibility.



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